Pickingpetals

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fvming:

What did the kidney say to the other kidney?

I’m stoned

(Source: fvming, via hotboyproblems)

artemisfowlstolemysoul:

Being a nice person is so fun

Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it

Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets

There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.

(via suqarrrush)

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

(Source: basedyeeezus, via elletrico)

Anonymous asked: One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?

stripperina:

Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.

image

howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”

(Source: grossmidousuji, via seanp0donnell)

(Source: carmen-summers, via crystallized-teardrops)

(Source: jpgdn, via his-adaptation)

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